Sayings We'd Like To See On Those Office Inspiration Posters
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by
killing all those who opposed them.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably
haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG
fourteen times gives you job security.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity
A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.
Plagiarism saves time.
If at first you don't succeed, try management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
We waste time, so you don't have to.
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.
INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.
Succeed in spite of management.
Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.
This is a story about four people named Everybody,
Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody
was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was
Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when
Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr
the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can
be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
It took me a few seconds, but then I got
the hang of it. I've seen this with the letters out of order, as above,
but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers.
Good example of a Brain Study : If you can read this you have a strong mind :
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5 !
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5 !
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD ! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
. . .
= man overboard
Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.
Ans. = I understand
OK . . . Got the
drift ? Let's try a few now and see how you fair ?
3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/ g/
= reading between the lines
Ans. = cross road
Not having a good day now, are you ? Redeem yourself.
Ans. = tricycle
Easy to figure that one out ha!
Ans. = two degrees below zero
C'mon give it a little thought ! !
Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )
U can prove u r smart by getting this
feet feet feet feet feet feet
Ans. = six feet underground
Oh no, not again !
9. he's X himself
= he's by himself
Now u messing up big time.
Ans. = backward glance
Not even close ! !
11. death ..... life
Ans. = life after death
Okay last chance
= think big ! !
And the last one is real fundoo - - -
ababaaabbbbaaaabbbb ababaabbaaabbbb. ..
Ans. = long time no 'C'
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and
nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions
"What does that tell you?" Holmes questioned.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically,
it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn
is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God
is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson,
you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."
Little girl on a plane
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger
turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'
'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles. OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting
topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes
little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.' To which
the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit ?